At long last I feel that it is safe to talk about spring. I had invested hope in this notion earlier, but only had those feelings dashed by more snow and bouts of bitter cold windy nastiness. It has been a hard winter here in Nebraska, and after unusually high snow falls totalling FOUR FEET, I for one am so happy to see a turn to bright warm days!

With this wonderful weather, my thoughts are also turning to the garden! It is the best feeling to have the warm sun on my face as I walk about the garden. After such a hard winter it seems like a miracle that anything is even springing up from the ground.

This year there seems to be so much potential! I cannot wait to jump in on the projects that I have been dreaming about to distract the existence of "the glacier" what covered much of our backyard and garden all winter long. I am in the midst of planning a little raised bed for more vegetables. There are plants and trees to be procured! There is research and hunting to be conducted in area stores and nurseries! Hostas and iris will need to be divided. There are bushes to be pruned and some plants to be moved! It is just all SO exciting!!! I am so wound up (and that is not just from this mornings coffee talking) I am even going to over look all the damage from the wet and heavy snow and ravenous dastardly rabbits.

So I thought it was a cold sore. I having never had one, but with the help of Web Md, arrived to that assumption on my very own. The swollen spots on my nose seemed to however to have a mind of their own. And despite my self diagnosis all the signs leaned to something else. Sure in "rare"cases these little bundles of joy could sprout from the upper side of my nose, and in even more unusual circumstances, the accompanying swollen lymph nodes, fever and extreme muscle pain could happen, but I was starting to have my doubts. My nose had doubled in size (and on only the right half of my nose mind you!) and swelling and redness now were appearing under my eye as well. I was QUITE the sight to behold I assure you. : )

With the onset of "tingling" that ran in a line from my right ear to my nose, and now with a droopy eye and looking drunk on the right side of my face, and now constant sneezing, I pondered my options.

Now I admit the Dr is not my favorite person to go visit. However over the past 5 years or so, I have opted for more alternative medicines in general. Rather than see my dermatologist or general physician, I opted for my Chiropractor. Now for those of you who have been to a chiropractor, you know that they don't come at you with gloves and asking questions like "How long ago did you have Chickenpox?"!

Chickenpox? My mind was swirling as she proceeded.

"You have shingles" she told me.

Shingles? What?

Don't you have to be old and gray to have Shingles? (Or Chickenpox 2.0 as I now "lovingly" refer to them!) Well apparently not. Often more common for people over the age of 65 they can occur in our younger years as well. "Are you stressed?" was the next question. After taking a month off of work, I can assure anyone I am anything but! I am just the "lucky" girl who perhaps after a cold and weakened immune system, got this lovely virus that has laid dormant in my nerve pathways since I was 5 years old.

Apparently I was extremely lucky and taking immune boosting vitamins before the virus attacked! (HURRAY 4 VITAMINS!) It turns out that even my own misdiagnosis was a good thing. Because the CP 2.0 and cold sore viruses are somewhat related, the homeopathic drops, and antiviral herbal goodness indeed worked their magic! They quickened the healing time of my facial oddity and now with the addition of cold laser therapy (it works similarly to acupuncture) to help the facial nerve, I am well on the mend. With any luck the tingling and tenderness (!AND SNEEZING!) will all disappear and this all will just be a blip in the past. Whew!

The studio has sat empty for a while now. The rush and craziness of the busy holiday season annually chases me from my work space. Fear of burnout and recently being sick, keeps me from traversing the steps down to the space that I had spent countless hours in just weeks ago.

But today was different. I cleaned off my work table. I varnished over last years layers of paint that added up over the past 12 months to create a shiny fun work surface. (And WOW what a fun abstract painting it is on its own!) I took inventory of brushes and paints. I organized a few unfinished projects and housed errant supplies. I made myself at home in an old familiar place once again. The feelings of excitement rushed back as I mixed new bright spring colors and started a few small paintings.

Perhaps I should have started earlier. I should have jumped into a new season following a few orders and miscellaneous creations. But I firmly believe all things happen for a reason and I took this time because that is what my mind and body needed.

And so it begins again ...

I haven't looked at it in quite some time. Every so often - and randomly less, I will Google Map the farm where I grew up and zoom in on it. It is nestled in the bottom of a small valley. The white old farmhouse sits at the end of a long drive. (One that I always thought stretched truly straight to north from south, but apparently and according to Google, truly heads just a bit to the northeast.) The winding creek carves into the lower portion of the acreage and is dotted with large trees. The small grass hay field has just started to grow. Everything looks so green and lush. Dad's truck is parked in back with the topper on. I can see the door to the cellar, the sidewalks and the paths that led to here and there. The large garden is tilled and rows are just starting to be noticeable. The hand laid rescued brick sidewalk he positioned around the garden is clear. The obvious round patch is there where he would have planted his string beans that would raise up to the top of yet another wonderful (*and TALL!) metal creation of his. The shop that he built with his own hands, that housed the tools for his many talents and hobbies, is the largest structure in view.

But this picture must be at least 5 years old.

When I look at it, it makes me smile and a little part of me for the smallest instant, feels like he is still there. Most days when I take a look back, I feel warm and think fondly of it all, and time after loss has healed so much. But somehow today it is different. I miss my father so much and for some reason, out of nowhere, today it hurts horribly. I miss my father. I miss that farm. It is the place that he once called his favorite place on earth. I miss the smells. I miss walking around there. I miss the trees and the creek. I miss seeing his large garden and all the things that came from it.

There is so much of my father there in that one place. So many memories lie there for me. There are so many stories. I am sure one day the picture will be replaced with what is there now. But looking at it now, remembering how it was the last time I was there with him, I realize how lucky I am. So despite today's tears, it was worth a look back and sharing a part of that place with you. My creativity has been feeling a bit flat and somehow, just now, it filled again. This was the place that cultivated my creative side. It was the place I grew up somehow knowing I could do anything in life, and my father was quietly my constant support and foundation. My look back today will lead me forward - and all these memories will build me up.

There is something in the air. I feel it when I am out running my errands. I sense it standing in line at the grocery store and see it on faces of other drivers while sitting in traffic. It could be the fact that we haven't seen the sun here in days. It may be the post holiday feelings of "everything has to be perfect and then reality set in". Perhaps it is even our record breaking cold and snowy winter and the fact that we all have been home bound for far too long. Things are seemingly grey and gloomy and it isn't just the 5th strait day of freezing fog.



Can you feel it? And people are starting to take it out on each other! Admit it ... you've seen them ... those crabby "nothing can make me happy so I'm going to take it out on you!" types. They are in the checkout line in front of you or sitting at the table next to you while you try to enjoy a quiet dinner out on the town. They throw their arms up in frustration and rant at others in traffic. I do my best to ignore the drama of it all.



Many of us are here in the middle of our seasonal funk making the best of it. I admit it is sometimes easier to sit at home in my sweats than find the energy to head out into the world. Here at home we are eating as healthy as we can - buying fresh produce and eating more fish (yeah Omega-3's!!!). We try to ovoid eating overly processed and carb laden food that weaken our immune system and needless to say add too quickly to the waistline. (Did I mention being snowbound with cookies? NOT a good thing!) I know that hitting the treadmill is needed to help boost my energy and erase some of the damage from the holiday eating frenzy.




And before we know it - this too shall pass. Spring is closer than it feels. The punishing winter we have had so far will eventually be behind us. And if possible all that negativity that seems to be abundant will disappear and all the good things in each day will come into view a bit easier.

What a great feeling it is upon that date when the calendar finally turns to a new year and all things from the past 365 days fade into the background and the possibilities of the new year come into focus!

It has been a time to recover from the busiest season I have been through yet (!hurray and thanks!). It has been a time to sort through closets, wax wood floors, clean the office, rest and relax and remember what is important and finally breathe in the world around me - be it a cold and snow filled one!

Its also time to notice all the little things that I have been to busy to sense. Winter even with its 36" of snow so far (a total greater than I remember witnessing!) has so many wonderful things. After our Christmas blizzard and being stuck in the home (mostly by choice, I assume we may have perhaps been able to navigate our way around the 7' drifts covering most of neighborhood streets) it was such a treat to see how the snow had artfully twisted and wrapped itself on the outside world. The trees were covered in a shimmery layer of ice. They sparkled like we had just covered them with a layer of antique glass glitter. It was beautiful ... and the pictures you ask ... it was too dangerous and too cold to capture any of it, so the above was taken from within the comfort and warmth of our home! :)

So as I look foreword to getting back full time in the studio, my mind is turning to warmer and brighter things. As the wind gusts to 45 mph and the forecasted high for tomorrow is -4 with a frightful low of -20 (and that's WITHOUT the wind chill YIKES!), the idea of spring creations is a welcome distraction!

I look forward to sharing new work with you soon!